Christmas Glitter

About Christmas Glitter

The world is really struggling this year, we are all at war with the evil Corona Virus, including my country, Great Britain. I am terrified of it, as I already have post viral chronic fatigue syndrome/M.E.

And it was while I have been in lock down and self isolating anyway because we have both been ill for a while now with a virus which may or may not be The virus because we haven't been tested, and I don't want to even think about what I would have to be like before I would be tested, that I remembered the short story I wrote as homework for our writing group called The Scribblers, for our Christmas party in the middle of  December 2019, and how strange it was, well my stories are usually a bit on the strange side, but this one, well if one imagined the glitter was a virus, and the penguins were people with surgical masks on !............................. I am sure this was written before I heard anything of the Corona virus, and it was only written because I hated Christmas, but now if I live to see another Christmas I think I might like Christmas much more than usual.

Christmas Glitter

Father Christmas had been having trouble with his staff, it had developed wood worm, then it had messed up some of his magic spells, particularly the one he used to conjure up more Elves to help with the present’s delivery round. Instead of Christmas Elves flying in to help, he had got approx. 100 Penguins, waddling into his Grotto from all directions. They were flapping and squawking all around the present wrapping area of his Christmas Grotto. Not only were they noisy and unhelpful but they were also naughty! They had devoured Santa’s fruit and nut chocolates within an hour of their arrival. Their behaviour was not helping Santa at all. So when a small group of penguins actually started packing up the presents in a relatively civilized manner, Santa watched in amazement and relief. He was just about to go and get a cup of coffee and a mince pie, when he noticed that one of the penguins was doing something strange with a pot of glitter.

The penguin sniggered in a wicked tone of voice as he mixed the glitter up in a test tube which he had produced from under a wing, with some different coloured glitter, then he produced what looked like a ray gun and zapped the glittering concoction with it.

Santa gasped with horror, but before he could stop it, the penguin had scurried outside with the test tube and thrown the strange newly created glitter out onto the snow. His remaining Elves rushed out to clear it up, but somehow it had all vanished by the time they got there. This worried Santa but he had no time to investigate, he really had to get on with his job, it was the day before Christmas Eve and he was late with his preparations already.

The following day in England, the festive season was in full force. The shops were heaving with last minute shoving shoppers and hysterical toddlers. Everywhere seemed very glittery, there was lots of glitter on cards, room decorations, tree decorations, and even on people. This glitter was new, it was extra sparkly and bright, and people were beginning to find that it was impossible to wash off.

Meanwhile; Ralph was cold, but since his wife died that was nothing new. He stumbled along the frozen ground hugging the over-hanging hedgerow to get as much shelter as possible; the winter wind was merciless, cutting across the flat open fields. His home was in the next field, in the shelter of a copse and surrounded by hedgerows. He’d been lucky, so far no one had noticed his tent or the fire that he’d left alight to keep the tent warm, although smoky. He couldn’t wait to get warmed up within his sleeping bag with a hot mug of soup. Glitter didn’t feature in his life, although he did like to imagine Father Christmas and had even written him a letter this year, asking for somewhere proper to live, with heating, a bathroom and a solid roof. He had considered asking for female company too but thought that might be pushing his luck. For a few moments while he wrote the letter he had cheered up and felt almost like a little boy again, at home with his parents on Christmas Eve.

In the nearby town, they were beginning to realise that there was something wrong with the glitter.

It wasn’t normal, and it wouldn’t wash off, but by the time they had realised, it was too late.

The stuff worked it’s way into your body and clumped together, when enough had got inside you – boom! You turned into a penguin! Shoppers everywhere were turning into Penguins, ambulances were called but all they could do was call the fish van to feed them. Police started tracing the source of the glitter outbreak, but they too became penguins and waddled off to jump into the river and go fishing.

After spending Christmas day alone in his tent, Ralph wandered back into town. He was surprised to see that it was empty, the shops were empty and left open! There were no people anywhere! He assumed it was due to the Christmas mayhem, and helped himself to a can of soup and a loaf of bread and returned to his tent bemused.

He was nice and cosy in his sleeping bag, having had his soup and toast when he heard bells jingling immediately outside the tent, hooves trampled the ground and a male voice called out, “Hello, You in there, I’ve got a present for you! Yo, ho, ho,! what a jolly campsite you have here, reminds me of my grotto!” Ralph nearly jumped out of his skin! That cheap wine he’d had for Christmas must have ruined his liver already he thought, and now I’m imagining things, but he popped his head out of the tent anyway. Santa stood there smiling, and handed him a small perfectly wrapped box. He thanked Santa, and offered him some soup, but the old man was in a hurry to return to Lapland so he couldn’t stay.

Though he did stay long enough to warn Ralph, not to go into the shopping centre again, “ Just get your food from the none Christmassy shops, so you can avoid the glitter” he said, without further explanation. That’s strange thought Ralph.

Inside the box there was a set of house keys, with a label that read No 9 High Street, and a neatly folded piece of paper which was the deeds to the property. Ralph walked to the house in a daze, and opened the door, it was perfect, it was warm, had a bathroom, a solid roof and it was his! He was overjoyed.

Having made himself at home, he turned the telly on, the news reader was jabbering on about some strange kind of glitter out- break, apparently it had escaped from the North Pole after global warming had caused it to become genetically modified, which was why everyone had been turned into penguins and disappeared into the sea in search of fish.

He was aghast at this, and realised that Santa had not only given him the perfect gift but also possibly saved his life by warning him not to go to the shops. He poured himself a whiskey from the well stocked drinks cabinet, and relaxed onto the comfy sofa, it was almost a perfect day, he must be dreaming he thought.

Then, there was loud knock on the door, he answered it to find the prettiest woman he’d ever seen, “Can you help me please, she implored, I’m being chased by a gang of penguins, I think they may be after my fruit and nut chocolate bar!” He quickly ushered her in and slammed the door in the beak of an aggressively pursuing penguin, she thanked him and smiled, apologising for her intrusion on his time, he shrugged and said I’m glad I could help, anyway it’s nice to see a friendly face. They looked at each other, she smiled again and his heart started thumping, he knew that his Christmas had now only just begun.