Not been very well, at all, last week. I've been trying to do too much, and the inevitable happened, the old C.F.S claimed me. Any way, having done as little as possible all week, I was well enough to attend the Taize service, a healing service, at our Cathedral on Saturday. It is such a wonderful service, I always feel better afterwards and this time I felt so much better that I was able to go for a swim the following day, with a reticent husband to keep an eye on me  (he was very concerned about his hairy back being on show, I told him men are mean't to be hairy, at least he doesn't have to shave his legs!)
But I digress!  The reason I mention my health is because I had been trying to do a poem a day for National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWrMo) but hey ho, that's the way the "cookie crumbles" I suppose, so I've got one I did earlier, much earlier.....


Chronic Fatigue

I'm waiting in the waiting room of my life,
I'm too tired
to notice the time.

I work when I can,
But my dreams are mine.
My fantasy is energy.

Just to walk, just to run,
just to ride horses,
and go partying,
when the day is done.

To swim twenty lengths,
to paint big pictures,
to throw big pots,
to eat big dinners,
Just to finish the housework,
it's asking lots.

I'm a part-time worker,
when I'm well.
When I'm not,
I lie in bed a lot
and the boss puts me
through hell.
I'm not skiving, I say,
But it doesn't matter either way,
because I'm not greasing the wheels of industry,
the fault must lie with me.

Chronic fatigue is not about getting out of work,
or about sponging off the state.
Its all about the length of  life lost,
to an endless wait.

Promises of a day,
which, may be years away.
When I can work full time,
go home, and still have
some energy to play.

Chronic fatigue isn't funny
Its about money.
How much won't I earn,
while my illness only allows
reduced work hours.

I have part-time lolly,
for a part-time life.
All savings are gone,
The "rainy day",
lasted too long.

I want to get well,
I tell the walls.
But I must have faith,
and wait for my redemption.
I look forward to my last day of waiting,
To get my life back,
To be able to earn my pension.